Fire!

It’d be better if this story read as follows:

Today in Oakdale, Louisiana, ten people, eight of whom were volunteer firefighters, were arrested for arson after creating a series of training exercises, some of which involved the immolation of structures. The Oakdale Fire Department currently employs only four full-time employees and relies on a voluntary force during emergencies. Most of the ten arrested for arson were under the age of twenty, and according to authorities, all but two of them were considered to be volunteer firefighters and members of the Oakdale Fire Department.

“The Town of Oakdale allowed nearly a dozen people, mainly teenagers, to serve as volunteer firefighters,” Spokesperson X said. “It was irresponsible to stage training exercises without the consent of the full-time staff, but it’s equally irresponsible to charge nearly a dozen young people who had pledged to serve and protect their community- as volunteers- with high-profile criminal allegations that will likely follow them throughout their lives, simply because they may have participated in unsanctioned readiness exercises. No one was injured in any of these exercises.”

***

For what it’s worth, I have no idea what I’m talking about; I only know what I read in The Town Talk, so I could be completely off-base.

But the story of the teenage brigade of the Oakdale Fire Department still seems slightly ridiculous, right?

You can’t tell a bunch of kids they’re firefighters! More than likely, they’ll take you seriously. And then, they’ll start burning things. How could you not see this coming?

Also, ten people? Really? Ten people?

Sounds like a sophisticated enterprise. Maybe they should consider RICO charges as well.

***

In other small-town Louisiana news, the entire Krotz Springs Police Department resigned after their new chief was installed.

Krotz Springs, perhaps the most unfortunately-named city in the country, has been a well-known speed trap for the last fifteen years.

The new Krotz Springs Police Chief, apparently, was in trouble with the law a few years ago, and there’s obviously some bad blood between him and the (retiring) police force. They didn’t wait to be fired. They quit in solidarity:

Minutes after Mouille was sworn into office, nearly a half dozen of his officers resigned, saying Chief Mouille never asked them to stay.

With job security in the air, officers say they found new jobs.

“No one approached me and asked for their job,” Mouille said.

“He did not contact anybody.” David says, “if he did, we wouldn’t have looked for employment somewhere else.”

These loyal public servants of Krotz Springs, committed to the safety of their neighbors and their community, decided to make a statement: To quit in solidarity, to strip their community of any and all local law enforcement protection (they’re now relying on parish deputies), and to take a strong political stance against their new duly-elected Chief of Police. What heroism and selflessness. If you’ve ever driven through the town, it’s exactly what you’d expect from the Krotz Spring Police Department.

(I’ve never received a traffic ticket; I’m just sayin’).