Can’t make this stuff up.

From ABC News:

A trusted aide to Louisiana Sen. David Vitter resigned Wednesday morning after ABC News reported that he had been arrested for attacking his ex-girlfriend with a knife, and had an open warrant for his arrest in Baton Rouge on a drunk driving charge.

The aide, Brent Furer, worked on the Republican senator’s last campaign, and has spent the last five years posted in his Washington office to handle, among other things, women’s issues.

“It says something terrible about Senator Vitter’s judgment that this is the kind of guy he wants to keep in his office,” said Sloan, who first alerted ABC News to the assault case. She said Furer’s resignation was “an obvioius attempt by the senator to save himself with women voters as heads into his reelection campaign this fall.”

“Senator Vitter knowingly kept this dangerous person on his staff through his drunk driving arrest in 2003 and his chilling domestic violence assault conviction in 2008,” said Sloan. “Why have him resign only now?”

Furer’s resignation was reported at 10:30 Wednesday morning by the Associated Press. Vitter spokesman Joel DiGrado told AP that Vitter’s office was aware of Furer’s arrest for attacking his ex-girlfriend two years ago, but said Vitter was unaware of any other legal issues until the ABC News report. “Senator Vitter accepted the employee’s resignation today after learning of the other incidents,” spokesman Joel DiGrado said.

Yet in 2003, after Furer pleaded guilty to driving drunk, a pastor who was Vitter’s regional director in Louisiana oversaw Furer’s court-ordered community service, and did so while Furer continued to work as a key paid staffer on Vitter’s first senate campaign.

This happened two years ago:

After drinking at a restaurant, the two returned to Furer’s Capitol Hill apartment, the report says. Furer “would not let her leave.” He “pulled on her coat, which caused it to rip,” then “pulled out a knife and stabbed [her] in the hand,” the police report says.

Charging documents allege that Furer became angry when he found phone numbers for other men in her blackberry. He smashed her phone when she tried to call 911, the records say, and he shoved her to the floor when she tried to leave, then held his hand over her mouth and threw her on a bed.

(The woman) told police Furer “uttered the words to her, ‘Do you want to get serious.'” Then, the arrest warrant states, Furer “grabbed an unknown object and held it under her neck. The suspect asked the complainant, ‘Do you want to die?’ The complainant replies and she stated, ‘No, I don’t want to die.'”

After a 90 minute standoff, Furer made her promise not to call police, and then allowed her to leave. She fled to a friend’s house, and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. A slash on her chin took eight stitches to close, the police report says.

Furer eventually pleaded guilty to three misdemeanor charges, including threatening harm and destruction of property. The assault and weapons charges were dismissed. He was sentenced to 180 days confinement, two years of supervised probation, 40 hours of community service, and treatment for drug and alcohol dependency. After getting a harsh warning from Superior Court Judge Lee Satterfield, his jail term was suspended.

And then there is this:

The dates of Furer’s community service (for his 2003 DWI arrest) also coincide with the dates he was on the payroll of Vitter’s senate campaign. On Aug. 2, 2004, for instance, Furer reported doing eight hours of community service at a Salem United Church of Christ camp in New Orleans, under the stewardship of Rev. Richard. Campaign finance records show that on the same date, Furer received $1,500 in payments for “campaign management.”

And that’s not all. The guy’s been arrested for cocaine possession; he has at least three DWIs; and he allegedly hit a motorcyclist and broke the man’s femur during a fit of road rage.

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