In what will surely be a major setback to anyone hoping to genetically engineer the world’s first mermaid or centaur, today, Senator Mary Landrieu joined 19 Republicans in co-sponsoring Senator Brownback’s Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act, a piece of policy that, as Politico points out, is modeled after a bill recently signed by our very own Governor, Bobby Jindal.

Politico also points out that the legislation fails to give a specific example of what these human-animal hybrids would look like, but isn’t it obvious?

Mermaid:

Little_Mermaid

Centaur:

centaurPlanet of the Apes:

charltonhestonkissesmonkeyGoatboy:

Goat Boy 2

I agree with this legislation. No hybrids! It would get way too confusing.

I have one suggestion, however. While we’re at it, why don’t we amend the bill to include a ban on reanimating corpses?

frankenstein

16 thoughts

  1. I wonder what a clone of a jackass and a politician would look like?
    Or is that hybird excluded from the mix?

  2. Thank God we’re focused on SERIOUS policy, like banning hypothetical human-animal hybrids; instead of spending all of our time, money, and energy on issues like health care, education, the economy, and security, we’re dedicating precious resources toward combating science fiction.

    Makes sense, right?

    Who wouldn’t want to campaign on the human-animal hybrid ban platform?

  3. Alex, just find a picture of David Vitter and you have your politician/jackass combo. Personally, I’m worried that someone will create a new singing group out of Bobby Jindal/Chipmunk hybrids.

  4. I think what we’re missing here is the root of such legislation.

    These groups who do their politicking from the Sunday morning pulpit are masters at creating fervor with fear. They more often than not create issues where none exist, then get their public riled up and scared over them. The politicians then volunteer to be good christian soldiers and wage the holy war on capitol hill for them.

    It’s not the issues, it’s the way they twist the issues to motivate their base:
    (Compare reality with Republican slant)

    Government wants to improve bicycle safety = Liberals want to take away your cars.

    Gays want equal protection = Gays are trying to destroy marriage

    Gov’t wants to fund stem cell research = Gov’t wants to create fetus farms and forcefully abort children

    Support genetic cures for disease = create ungodly human-animal hybrids

    It’s spin and it’s usually spin wrapped in scripture. Sadly too many people are easily herded into falling for it.

    1. Drew,

      From a pure, medical ethics standpoint, I have no particular problems with legislation against cloning or the creation of human animal hybrids. However, you raise a good point about how government and special interests groups use fear to whip up public opinion in favor of decreased freedoms.

      The right tends to be fearful of medical technology. The left tends to be fearful of knives and guns (ugly or not) in the hands of law abiding citizens. You provided some good examples of how the left uses fear to legislate against certan types of medical/genetic research.

      I will use the hysteria against “switchblades” in the late 50s to ban automatic knives. The 70s saw hysteria whipped up about “Saturday Night Specials” (for those of you too young to remember, this was the danger of inexpensive firearms, allowing those with low incomes to arm themselves), the 90s saw the demonization of semi-automatic firearms, particularly military-style rifles. Finally, in the post 9/11 era, the left has tried to demonize .50 caliber rifles (these extremely heavy, non-criminal friendly weapons are very expensive, out of the reach of most with criminal intentions).

      The left, in the U.S. anyway, is also fond of whipping up fear to oppose the continued development and expansion of nuclear energy (Three Mile Island, “The China Syndrome”). The left in France and Japan seem fine with nuclear energy.

      1. Drew,

        Sorry, I meant to say[last sentence of second paragraph], “You provided some good examples of how the RIGHT [I mistakenly typed ‘left’] uses fear to legislate against certain types of medical/genetic research.”

  5. Tsk tsk always slamming republicans. I can point out equal amounts of corruption and unconscionable behavior within the democratic party. Thanks for the laugh though, I enjoyed it.

      1. Maybe we should ban Democrat-Republican hybrids lol!

        I think I’d take a centaur over Rodney Alexander. The centaur would at least likely not have pentecostal preacher hair.

    1. No republicans were being slammed! It was politicians in general that were being slammed! Why is it that every time anyone speaks about something outrageous as this topic that republicans/democrats assume they are being slammed?! Guilty conscience?

  6. Why is it that some people can become so dumb to think that it’s genetically possible to create such hybrid creatures as a mermaid, a centaur, a siren or a Pan (man/goat)? To ban such a ban as this is the most unrealistic ban if there ever was one!

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