When I first started blogging, I had little concept of the implications and repercussions of the enterprise, which is one of the reasons I have struggled to cement this blog’s mission statement. I write about the things of which I am most passionate, and while this often means I am obsessing over political news, I sometimes have a tendency to write about the banal occurrences of everyday life.
But before I get into blog theory, if you will, I would like to apologize.
I apologize for sometimes taking seriously the opinions and statements of the disconnected, anonymous, and lunatic fringe. I have wasted my time and your time in an attempt to both defend myself against scurrilous accusations and clarify the facts to those who – no matter what- prefer being hyperbolically contrarian.
We can and should be able to engage with one another, to discuss the issues, and to stay on topic and on point without the need for baseless ad hominem attacks, but unfortunately, with the birth of completely anonymous websites and commentary, it’s nearly impossible to avoid.
The ability to speak anonymously is critical to a functioning democracy, but the powers of anonymous speech can be easily abused, particularly by those whose own ideological mission has left them blind and uncaring to the implications their words can have on real people.
Words have power.
Which brings me back to blog theory.
There is a reason I decided to write a personal essay series. (Obviously, I decided to extend the series beyond my original scope, and I may decide to continue to engage on a personal level). There is a reason I decided to write about my father’s death– which occurred when I was living in Houston– and what it felt like to return to Alexandria four years later and watch as people anonymously attacked me, my family, and my father for expressly political purposes. Ironically, my father actually shared the same political persuasion as many of those who have attempted (and who continue to attempt) to disparage his life and his reputation. There is a reason I have decided to write openly and honestly about my own disability, a topic I am likely to return frequently. There is a reason I have decided to become more candid about my own life.
On the Internet, people have a tendency to dehumanize others. They become so caught up in their own egos and agendas that they lose track of reality.
And let’s be honest: The Internet, by virtue of its egalitarian platform (which I would not trade for the world), provides an outlet of expression for those who are otherwise completely disengaged, and indeed, it provides a platform for the ignorant.
I don’t understand the fear that some people have about expressing their real opinions with their real names. To be sure, most in the New Orleans blogosphere use pseudonyms, but for many of them, it’s thinly veiled; they have no problem engaging with one another as real human beings. (Indeed, CenLamar is also a thinly-veiled pseudonym).
They are a community.
In Alexandria, we do not have a true Internet community. With few exceptions, bloggers don’t really work together. Many of them believe in the virtues of depersonalized anonymity, which, to me, seems like a relic, unsophisticated and sensational.
Let’s attempt to speak to one another as neighbors instead of strangers.
Hello.
CenLamar 
I keep trying to get at what makes the NOLA blogpocheh different – and you have pinpointed that we don’t have much of a problem here engaging each other as human beings.
I would also add that a certain amount of adversity can spark a deep need in us all to get at what is bothering us. Collectively, the NOLA bloggers, to one degree or another, have suffered a major catastrophe, and the first impulse was simply to get those feelings of suffering out. Once one blogger realizes that he/she is not alone in this, things can go one of two ways – communal recognition can give way to each to his/her own fiefdom (which is something I saw most often with parenting bloggers, actually), or it can go completely the other way and become an exercise in building on that initial consciousness-raising.
This is not to say that building an online community is a ticket to peace and harmony…it’s a delicate thing that constantly needs to be nurtured. Relationships must be worked on constantly, which, in the end, means treating your fellow blogger with respect and take most posts seriously – but not too. It’s a balance that, like anything else worthwhile, needs to be worked on constantly. And I didn’t realize what I had really gotten myself into until I tried to search for similar online communities in the No-Cal area and came up with bupkes.
I wish you luck in reaching out to the blogging Alexandrians, and, for the record…I hope they meet you halfway and then some.
Very good, Lamar. Don’t ever take the attacks too seriously; reasonable people can disagree and have rational conversations about their disagreements. If a person is unreasonable, answer any valid points they make and ignore the rest.
I really enjoy your blog.
Leigh, thank you for your comments. No doubt one of the reasons that the NOLA community “works” is because of the shared experience of Katrina. You make some excellent points. Of course, New Orleans is a much bigger community. There is a dearth of committed and engaged bloggers in Central Louisiana; people are just getting their feet wet.
It’ll take some time.
Jim, I also appreciate your comments and everything you do to raise awareness. I have been trying to answer unreasonable people for well over a year now, and I’ve found that even if you only address “valid” points, unreasonable people will continue to be unreasonable.
Instead of debating or arguing an issue, they are more interested in diversionary tactics.
But I try not to take things TOO seriously, though it’s difficult to stand idly by as some anonymous person disparages your family members.
That said, I don’t intend to sound shrill. I am hopeful, and I believe that credibility, in most cases, begins with accountability.
Hi Lamar,
As an infrequent (very) blogger, I appreciate your attempts to connect the blogging community for the betterment of our entire community. I read your blog regularly and appreciate your writings, even when I don’t understand the nuances of smart growth and gentrification! You are a trailblazer and I appreciate your leadership. Thank you for setting the stage of gentlemanly and respectful transparency.
Sincerely,
Nathan
Dear Lamar,
I have enjoyed reading your Personal Essay on Alexandria. As a lifelong resident of this city, I’ve come in contact with various members of your family, all of which I respect and admire. We will never understand the stupidity of those who continue to disparage your father’s name. he was a good man….not perferct, but none of us are. You come from the merging of two wonderful families and I hope you will continue to bring pride to them both.
What a nice treat to see your face……………older than the mental picture I have in my mind from your days at ASH. You look a lot like your father. I’m proud of all you’re doing here in this blog…………..read it semi-regularly. Proud you have moved back and are becoming such a vital part of this community. We need our young people.
An old teacher
And I misspelled perfect…..geez
I really appreciate the comments.
To Nathan, I hope you will become a more frequent blogger. It’s always nice to hear an honest perspective from a friend (and a community leader) in Pineville.
Cathy, you are too kind. Thank you.
And to Rebecca, although I never had the privilege of taking one of your classes, you have always been someone I admire. You say we need our young people, and I say WE NEED OUR GOOD TEACHERS. Kudos.