Dear Friends in Real Life (Particuarly Those In Houston),
I’ve probably told you before how strange Alexandria can be. I’ve probably said something like, “Rebecca Wells’ novels only tell a fraction of the story.” When I moved away for college, I felt like I needed to get away, and I thought I’d never come back. There just aren’t a lot of young people here, and there’s a good reason for that. You guys know me as Lamar, but in Alexandria, I have to call myself “Lamar White, Jr.” It confuses people when I introduce myself as “Lamar White.” They say things like, “I used to know someone named Lamar White, but he died a few years ago.” And then I have to clarify myself. “Yes, I am his first born son. Same guy.” And then we’re forced into an awkward conversation about my father’s death, and often it’s uncomfortable for me. It saves me the effort when I just add the J and the R to my name.
You guys know something about my father. I’ve told you about his death, how I thought he was destined to die young, and how he struggled with addiction. To you, my friends, I am open about this. I have nothing to hide. My father will always be a part of me, and I proud of that. You probably don’t know that my father was fairly well-known in Alexandria. It’s a small town, nothing like Houston, and my family’s been in real estate here for over seventy years.
You guys also know who I am. You know that I was born with a physical disability, that I spent a majority of my childhood in and out of hospitals (and that because my parents and grandparents constantly pushed me to succeed (to consider myself “normal”), I now drive a car, live on my own, and travel by myself, which I am told is remarkable considering my disability). At first, when you met me, you probably couldn’t help but see the disability, but in time, the more we got to know one another, the less it mattered.
In the blogosphere, I am just words on a computer. People have heard of me because of my family, and as a result, people have made assumptions about the type of person I must be. It may seem strange to you. Many of you were born and raised in big cities, and people just don’t treat you the same there. Sure, class warfare and racism exist, but rarely is it on an individual level. To my friends from Rice, I have learned that these are not just abstract problems that we address in rhetorical language; they’re real. They affect people.
I want to share with you a comment that was written about me on another blog. Please understand that the person who wrote this does not know me, has never met me, and has no idea of the kind of person I am. He is simply making assumptions about me based on a few stories he’s been told about my father’s family. (Notice, by the way, that no one will speak of my mother’s family, who also calls Alexandria home).
Anonymous said…
Cowardly Son of a Bitch though I may be I don’t sit on a throne condeming others when my own family closet is full of skeletons.
Mr. Aymond admitted to the youthful mistake of joining the Klan. Let me inform you that joining the Klan is not against the law. Politically incorrect but not illegal. Another revelation may be that the use of the “N” word is not against the law. Once again politically incorrect but not illegal
Junior has decried, from his lofty judgemental tower, that Mr. Aymond, due to past habits, is highly likely at anytime to don a sheet and go to burning crosses.
Now let us discuss what is illegal. Driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content twice the legal limit is a violation of law. Speeding is a violation of tghe law. Lamar Sr. made two bad decisions that cost him his life. He was drunk and speeding. Had it not cost him his life Sr. could be (by Jr.’s standards) still out and about driving under the influence and placing others in harms way.
So one person admits to the error of his youthful ways and life goes on. The other’s family files a law suit to prevent the cause of Sr.’s death from becoming public knowledge. Those born to high places do not want their transgression open to public view but feel a birthright to condem others.
What is the old adage “When you live in a glass house…”
As far as personal tragedy Sr. made the personal decisions that took his life. Go look at the long black wall in D.C. and see the 50,000 plus names on it. Their families also sufferred personal tragedies but the individuals the names represent were not given the opportunity to make a decision.
I may be a cowardly son of a bitch but I am not a elitist dickhead pointing out the shortcomings of the lower social levels from my lofty high society pedestal while attempting to benefit finasncially from my dealings with the City Council members and trying to cover up family baggage.
Oh and if you have such a big pair why didn’t you sign your name? Could it be cowardice?
To at least one person here in Alexandria, I am the Lamar White, Jr, of his imagination. By the way, friends, I have never said that Mr. Aymond is likely to begin burning crosses again. You know me, and you know that is a ridiculous statement. I invite you to visit the archives and read what I wrote about Mr. Aymond. Then, I think you should wonder whether my comments deserve the kind of treatment I have received. Think about it: Someone is using this as an opportunity to bash my late father. I know most of you never got to meet my father, but he was a wonderful, caring, and generous person. He loved his family and his community, and he worked well with everyone. When he passed away in 2001, there were 1,400 people at his funeral. No doubt, I will be grieving his death for the rest of my life.
For some reason, my comments on a public official, Mr. Aymond, made someone think that they had permission to speak about my father’s tragic death.
Incidentally, friends, Mr. Aymond follows the Cenla Antics blog. He’s signed his name on at least two posts, and I doubt he has a huge following intent on destroying those who disagree with him. In other words, I have a feeling that this person must be someone very close to Mr. Aymond.
Friends, you also know that I am not rich. Although my family has money, you know that I live on less than $35,000 a year, that I live in an apartment, and that I am currently in debt because of college.
You know all of this, because you know me for who I am.
To those of you who learned of this blog through Facebook, please do not feel obligated to comment until you’ve gone back and read previous entries.
CenLamar 
Lamar brought up Aymond’s Klan membership, and this information is relevant for voters. Any voter who cares about legal equality for people of all skin colors and religious faiths would want to know if Aymond was once in the KKK as KKK membership indicates a lack of sympathy for minority interests. The legal status of the Klan is totally irrelevant.
Instead of discussing politics of central Louisiana, this guy is trash-talking Lamar and his family. Lamar is a caring person who works hard to make his community a better place. Alexandria is lucky to have such a smart guy trying to help the town grow and improve. He’s a strong, motivated, and kind individual, and personally I feel lucky to know him and lucky to have him as a friend. I can’t believe this anonymous person would say such terrible things about him and his family. He/She clearly has never met them. I guess it’s just a lot easier to say cruel things about someone you don’t know than it is to think of ways to help Alexandria prosper.
-April Goldman
Rice ’06
from the foxhole>>>>> said…
Astounding.
To “we saw that” and “Lamar White, Jr.” – you gentlepersons are incredibly slow learners. You try to fend off these baseless attacks by unseen, unidentified, and uninformed people when they are designed for the sole purpose of cheap shots at defenseless personalities. How do you really think these conversations will end. Do you think these amoral attackers are going to finally own up and apologize. Not likely.
To the attacker(s) – you are an unprincipled cowardly son of a bitch and I am just guessing that this is not the first or last time you have been deservingly called that. But here’s the bottem line: you don’t matter – you never have and you never will. And that is good.
Monday, May 08, 2006 8:58:25 PM
we agree with foxhole absolutely. we are a little ashamed that we allowed ourselves to fall into that trap all the while knowing that was exactly what was happening. our own dad died twice as long ago as lamar’s and like lamar said its something you never get over you just learn to live with it daily. anyway thanks for the reality check.
Yeah, I don’t mean to harp on this forever, but I want to make sure the air is completely cleared.
Foxhole and Antics, you’re right.
At the same time, this blog receives between 100-200 unique hits per day, and I wanted to use this opportunity to show readers that I am not some crazy, spoiled jerk whose doing backroom deals with the City Council.
To that end, thank you to my friends for writing in. You guys know why this issue is important to me, and you can offer readers an objective perspective of the issue… as an outsider looking in on this insanity.
It’s not just about this single issue; it’s about evaluating the entire culture of Alexandria. That is why I am particularly interested to hear from people who do not have a vested interest in this community. What does this appear to you?
In other words, don’t think that this story is really about me; it serves to highlight the way people are around here: the pettiness, the “family identity” b.s., and the racist and classist undertones.
Thanks April for your remarks. You rock.
Yes you want to harp on it forever. You want to milk every ounce of sympathy you can. Poor poor little fellow, all these woes.
Barly make it on 35,000 dollars a year. That was the best one yet.
and yes i did misspeel
The deleted post was authored by me.
Here’s what it said:
That made me laugh out loud, man. Really.
I’m not asking for sympathy.
April, see what I mean: This guy is ridiculous!
If anything, sir, you prove that there is a difference between stupidity and ignorance.
I wasn’t asking for sympathy, and the fact that you’d assume that reveals volumes about your real perogative. You don’t care what I say or how I say it: Your only goal is to hurt me.
Why won’t you give it a rest?
Really. You’re making yourself look increasingly foolish.
To Foxhole:
I’ve attempted to explain myself. Let me try again: This blog is a project, a case study, a way of understanding the experience of living in Central Louisiana. I know the lesson you’re trying to teach me. I understand your point.
I don’t plan on harping on this issue, but I also don’t intend on just ignoring it. I created this blog in order to engage with people.
I could care less what Mr. Aymond’s “friend” thinks about me, but I am interested in understanding his motivations. Why? Because I think it says something about the culture of Central Louisiana.
Recently there have been some blatant ad hominem attacks directed towards Lamar White and his family. These attacks are egregious attempts to cloud the issues that Lamar is trying to have a very open and honest discussion about.
Alexandria suffers from a disease. There is a certain power hungry element that would rather maintain status quo instead of being part of progress. This element only wants progress if they are in total control of what is done and who receives the credit and profits. An honest debate is necessary for this city to return to past glory and hopefully achieve new glory. Engaging in this debate, I believe, is Lamar’s true motive.
If those of you who are attacking Lamar and his family truly are concerned about the progress of Alexandria, you would engage in this fruitful debate instead of sniping with tremendously insulting comments. The very fact that many of you would prefer to attack Lamar and his family personally shows two things. One, you have nothing truly fruitful to contribute. And two, you are cowards.
Thank you, Lucas. I think you are right on. Except for one thing: I don’t think there are “many” people; I have a reason to believe this is one or two people. I think these people are motivated to “clear” Mr. Aymond’s name by besmirching mine.
Notice, by the way, that the heckler has not denied this.
There’s nothing like Louisiana politics!
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